I got a tryout for the Minor Leagues this weekend. Major A League. So it goes...
Nicaraguan Leagues - American Leagues
1) Major A = "A"
2)Segundo Division = "AA"
3) Primera Division = "AAA"
4) LNBP = MLB
Of course, these are proportional equations. I'm hitting the strike zone so hard. Confidence building. Ready to tryout.
The taxi drivers and transport employees are on a huge strike. Transportation has slowed to a halt. The reason: ridiculously high gas prices. No one can afford them here. Daniel Ortega was on TV last night spitting communist propaganda. His devil witch wife was next to him. She's like Lady MacBeth. She even LOOKS like it.
Last week the girls volleyball team from Florida Atlantic University came to San Juan to play against the Nicaraguan National Girls Team. The Nicas destroyed them in 3 straight sets. It was awesome, everyone went to the game. It was packed and as usual they were blasting pop music the whole time.
Life is so good.
I'll update more frequently.
Acapulco or Bust.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Straight Cash Homey
The San Juan girls soccer team had a game against Cardena today...Cardena dominated, 3-0. Meanwhile I was on the mound pitching tough. The Cardena boys came over and we exchanged info...they're interested in talking to me about joining their team. In addition, I met a guy today, Ruddy Martinez, who offered to give me a legit tryout with a team here in San Juan. I'm feeling good. Plus they invited me to the huge cockfight between the champion roosters of Costa Rica vs. the champions of Nicaragua on May 3rd. I'll be there betting up a storm. Won today on FOUR BIG BETS...
TORONTO BLUE JAYS over Kansas City Royals
NEW YORK YANKEES over Cleveland Indians
PITTSBURGH PIRATES over Philadelphia Phillies
TEXAS RANGERS over Minnesota Twins.
Life is good...
TORONTO BLUE JAYS over Kansas City Royals
NEW YORK YANKEES over Cleveland Indians
PITTSBURGH PIRATES over Philadelphia Phillies
TEXAS RANGERS over Minnesota Twins.
Life is good...
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Que dice, que dice nada...
Been thinking about hitting the road with some narcotraffickers. Need some serendipity...must acquire some savvy business associates. A gun, a drum, and a bodega, bodega, bodega.
Padres earned me clams tonight...thanks to Tadahito Iguchi´s walk off home run in the 13th. Lucky number 13...I´m learning baseball´s more a business than a sport. Feelin sleazy, stayin skeezy.
Mound was wet...threw at the backstop. All about fearlessness. Incorporating the spirit of Ohrmazd into my game.
Happy times today...like always. Feelin like I need to hit the road with a Subaru. I´m so degenerate I´m going to pay for my car with gambling money.
If it smells good, eat it.
TODAY´s Picks:
DETROIT TIGERS over Los Angeles Angels
SAN DIEGO PADRES over Arizona Diamondbacks
MILWAUKEE BREWERS over Florida Marlins
TORONTO BLUE JAYS over Kansas City Royals
Padres earned me clams tonight...thanks to Tadahito Iguchi´s walk off home run in the 13th. Lucky number 13...I´m learning baseball´s more a business than a sport. Feelin sleazy, stayin skeezy.
Mound was wet...threw at the backstop. All about fearlessness. Incorporating the spirit of Ohrmazd into my game.
Happy times today...like always. Feelin like I need to hit the road with a Subaru. I´m so degenerate I´m going to pay for my car with gambling money.
If it smells good, eat it.
TODAY´s Picks:
DETROIT TIGERS over Los Angeles Angels
SAN DIEGO PADRES over Arizona Diamondbacks
MILWAUKEE BREWERS over Florida Marlins
TORONTO BLUE JAYS over Kansas City Royals
Friday, April 25, 2008
Rebollo, Tomate, Melon
There are a few hilarious daily occurrences here in San Juan.
First of all, they love attaching loudspeakers to their cars here. There is this one truck that consistently plays a sample from "Eye of the Tiger", you know the part where the guy goes "Eyyyeeeee of the Tiiiiggeeeerrr", and it's intermixed with some random, bass Spanish voice advertising something. I'm fluent...but it's so muddled by the shitty loudspeaker I can't understand it. That shit is so hilarious...the truck drives all around the city, every day, without fail, blasting Eye of the Tiger.
In addition, there's another guy who fancies himself an announcer who drives a fruit truck everywhere yelling "rebollo, tomate, zanahoria, rebollo, rebollo..." I hear it every day when I'm on the mound. These cars are induce fits of laughter.
My friend Aaron from Austin told me this crazy story about some guy whose wife got kidnapped. The guy received phone calls where he could hear his wife getting beaten and raped over the phone. No one knows what happened to her. Freaky.
Today I had a GREAT practice. Hitting my spots. I really believe in myself. One day I will make the pros here in Nicaragua, though it might take a while. Anyway, I'm going to the pro tryouts in September.
I'd really love it if one of my friends came to visit. It's so wonderful here...everyone has a great time, but this place is still undiscovered. Come quick, before the roads are finished...cuz then this place will be swarming with turischten.
I really need to find this 7th Board Member for the CBF. Really bad. It's tough...and I'm so close. I must seal the deal.
Today's picks:
TEXAS RANGERS over Minnesota Twins (GO RANGERS!)
DETROIT TIGERS over Los Angeles Angels
PITTSBURGH PIRATES over Philadelphia Phillies
SAN DIEGO PADRES over Arizona Diamondbacks
CHICAGO CUBS over Washington Nationals.
Cheers.
-Darius
First of all, they love attaching loudspeakers to their cars here. There is this one truck that consistently plays a sample from "Eye of the Tiger", you know the part where the guy goes "Eyyyeeeee of the Tiiiiggeeeerrr", and it's intermixed with some random, bass Spanish voice advertising something. I'm fluent...but it's so muddled by the shitty loudspeaker I can't understand it. That shit is so hilarious...the truck drives all around the city, every day, without fail, blasting Eye of the Tiger.
In addition, there's another guy who fancies himself an announcer who drives a fruit truck everywhere yelling "rebollo, tomate, zanahoria, rebollo, rebollo..." I hear it every day when I'm on the mound. These cars are induce fits of laughter.
My friend Aaron from Austin told me this crazy story about some guy whose wife got kidnapped. The guy received phone calls where he could hear his wife getting beaten and raped over the phone. No one knows what happened to her. Freaky.
Today I had a GREAT practice. Hitting my spots. I really believe in myself. One day I will make the pros here in Nicaragua, though it might take a while. Anyway, I'm going to the pro tryouts in September.
I'd really love it if one of my friends came to visit. It's so wonderful here...everyone has a great time, but this place is still undiscovered. Come quick, before the roads are finished...cuz then this place will be swarming with turischten.
I really need to find this 7th Board Member for the CBF. Really bad. It's tough...and I'm so close. I must seal the deal.
Today's picks:
TEXAS RANGERS over Minnesota Twins (GO RANGERS!)
DETROIT TIGERS over Los Angeles Angels
PITTSBURGH PIRATES over Philadelphia Phillies
SAN DIEGO PADRES over Arizona Diamondbacks
CHICAGO CUBS over Washington Nationals.
Cheers.
-Darius
Thursday, April 24, 2008
My New Family and Gender Politics
Saludos Amigos-
I am having an amazing time right now. I live with Andrew, a young Ohioan transplant who married Raquel, a Rubanesque Managua native. Raquel has a 2 year old baby named Joao from a different father. Andrew has taken him in as part of the family. Andrew and Raquel got married a week ago, and they're in nuptial bliss. Andrew's a chiropractor, really laid back, Raquel's a masseuse, round, warm, good mama. Joao is a little charmer. I love my home. Brenda is the charming girl who comes to clean, and Roberto is Raquel's layabout brother.
Today I practiced really well. I'm feeling a lot more comfortable on the mound. Lorenzo gave me some coaching tips.
I'm at Big Wave Dave's now and I learned some really fucked up shit. Dave has essentially imprisoned his spouse, Ana, and her two sisters, Gregoria and Patricia. They can't leave the bar, no matter what. After work, they sleep in the back. What a fucked up situation. Anyway, I've learned that women really are treated as inferiors in Nicaragua. Nica fathers are notorious deadbeats...many of them knock up girls and then ditch the family to get drunk in the street. There are a lot of single mothers here. But then again, family comes first, so there is a strong support system from the families of these women.
They say that the thing that brings you back to Nicaragua is the people. I couldn't agree more. I love the Nica people so much. Especially in San Juan del Sur. They are so bright, friendly, and open.
Today's picks:
ATLANTA BRAVES over the Florida Marlins
TORONTO BLUE JAYS over Tampa Bay Rays
COLORADO ROCKIES over Chicago Cubs
Cheers,
Darius
I am having an amazing time right now. I live with Andrew, a young Ohioan transplant who married Raquel, a Rubanesque Managua native. Raquel has a 2 year old baby named Joao from a different father. Andrew has taken him in as part of the family. Andrew and Raquel got married a week ago, and they're in nuptial bliss. Andrew's a chiropractor, really laid back, Raquel's a masseuse, round, warm, good mama. Joao is a little charmer. I love my home. Brenda is the charming girl who comes to clean, and Roberto is Raquel's layabout brother.
Today I practiced really well. I'm feeling a lot more comfortable on the mound. Lorenzo gave me some coaching tips.
I'm at Big Wave Dave's now and I learned some really fucked up shit. Dave has essentially imprisoned his spouse, Ana, and her two sisters, Gregoria and Patricia. They can't leave the bar, no matter what. After work, they sleep in the back. What a fucked up situation. Anyway, I've learned that women really are treated as inferiors in Nicaragua. Nica fathers are notorious deadbeats...many of them knock up girls and then ditch the family to get drunk in the street. There are a lot of single mothers here. But then again, family comes first, so there is a strong support system from the families of these women.
They say that the thing that brings you back to Nicaragua is the people. I couldn't agree more. I love the Nica people so much. Especially in San Juan del Sur. They are so bright, friendly, and open.
Today's picks:
ATLANTA BRAVES over the Florida Marlins
TORONTO BLUE JAYS over Tampa Bay Rays
COLORADO ROCKIES over Chicago Cubs
Cheers,
Darius
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Jesus Christ Rockies Please Win
Oh my god I have so much fucking money on the Rockies, at first they were losing 3-0, they came back and were leading 5-3, then 5-4 til the top of the ninth, then the Cubs scored 2 to make it 6-5, and with TWO OUTS in the BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, PINCH HITTER Scott Podsednik hits a single, then Ryan Spilborghs TRIPLES to TIE the game...going into extras. Lord. I hope the Rockies win tonight.
An Encounter at a Nicaraguan Cathouse
Saludos Amigos-
Last night I went out with my friends Eduardo and Carlos to a sketchy brothel called El Flotante. There are zero foreigners at El Flotante, because first of all, it is located on the outskirts of San Juan, and second of all, most foreigners would be terrified of the place. You must go with locals or you risk getting robbed in these parts of town.
Anyway, Eduardo is a good friend of mine, and a true Geminian. Very fashionable, witty, and kinda effeminate. Carlos is the local drunk. He's missing a few teeth, and every time I see him he's totally tanked. But he's an awesome guy, always smiling, and whenever I see him, he says "Borrrracho."
We walked out of San Juan into el barrio, and then we stopped at this strange white gate where there were two men and one woman standing guard at the door. They looked at us suspiciously but allowed us to enter. I walked in to what I thought was a regular bar, and a cool one at that. El Flotante is literally floating upon the local river, so you walk onto a veranda and you can look out at this murky river. It's actually quite beautiful.
At first everyone was staring at me, since I'm a gringo who obviously shouldn't be there, but since Nicas are so goddam friendly, it only took a little while for them to settle down. There were a few women sitting by themselves at a table, and mainly a bunch of men. The women were pretty fat and nasty.
One of the whores, Maria, approached Eduardo and I and sat next to us. She was charming enough, and was making casual conversation with us, but I could tell she was soliciting me for her services. She had big tits and a huge ass, but her face was wrecked. I felt bad for her, since I've been smashed in the face before and it isn't fun.
Carlos went into one of the bedrooms with some real filthy hen of a whore. We sat there talking to Maria and she pressed on and on, but finally we gave her the message and she went back to sit with the other fat dirty hens.
The mistress of the place kept going to the bedrooms, knocking, and yelling "Media hora!" to let the illicit couple know that their time had expired. I kicked back, and then I heard someone call my name.
"Dario!"
I looked back and saw El Vaquero, the Cowboy who was at my first baseball game. He had given me nasty stares at the game, so I thought he was trying to start something, but I was totally wrong. Instead, he started encouraging me about baseball, and we got to talking. I learned his name is Lionel, and he told me he suffered a horrible motorcycle accident a few years ago. He regaled me with stories of his pitching glory before the accident. I encouraged him that he could still be a manager, and I think that lifted his spirits.
Anyway, we talked for awhile, and then we left. I actually had a lot of fun at El Flotante, even though I didn't partake in the local pussy. We might go back on Friday for a big party there.
Today I had a tough practice. I started off with zero control...just throwing ball after ball. I adjusted my initial focus, however, and I started to gain control. I forced myself to throw a simulated game, which is really good for training.
Anyways, now I'm working...and betting. I've decided to post my daily baseball bets on my blog. Not to brag, but I've made about 600 dollars on MLB betting since I arrived here.
Today's picks are:
CINCINNATI REDS over Houston Astros
COLORADO ROCKIES over Chicago Cubs
NEW YORK METS over Washington Nationals.
See ya'll tomorrow.
-Darius
Last night I went out with my friends Eduardo and Carlos to a sketchy brothel called El Flotante. There are zero foreigners at El Flotante, because first of all, it is located on the outskirts of San Juan, and second of all, most foreigners would be terrified of the place. You must go with locals or you risk getting robbed in these parts of town.
Anyway, Eduardo is a good friend of mine, and a true Geminian. Very fashionable, witty, and kinda effeminate. Carlos is the local drunk. He's missing a few teeth, and every time I see him he's totally tanked. But he's an awesome guy, always smiling, and whenever I see him, he says "Borrrracho."
We walked out of San Juan into el barrio, and then we stopped at this strange white gate where there were two men and one woman standing guard at the door. They looked at us suspiciously but allowed us to enter. I walked in to what I thought was a regular bar, and a cool one at that. El Flotante is literally floating upon the local river, so you walk onto a veranda and you can look out at this murky river. It's actually quite beautiful.
At first everyone was staring at me, since I'm a gringo who obviously shouldn't be there, but since Nicas are so goddam friendly, it only took a little while for them to settle down. There were a few women sitting by themselves at a table, and mainly a bunch of men. The women were pretty fat and nasty.
One of the whores, Maria, approached Eduardo and I and sat next to us. She was charming enough, and was making casual conversation with us, but I could tell she was soliciting me for her services. She had big tits and a huge ass, but her face was wrecked. I felt bad for her, since I've been smashed in the face before and it isn't fun.
Carlos went into one of the bedrooms with some real filthy hen of a whore. We sat there talking to Maria and she pressed on and on, but finally we gave her the message and she went back to sit with the other fat dirty hens.
The mistress of the place kept going to the bedrooms, knocking, and yelling "Media hora!" to let the illicit couple know that their time had expired. I kicked back, and then I heard someone call my name.
"Dario!"
I looked back and saw El Vaquero, the Cowboy who was at my first baseball game. He had given me nasty stares at the game, so I thought he was trying to start something, but I was totally wrong. Instead, he started encouraging me about baseball, and we got to talking. I learned his name is Lionel, and he told me he suffered a horrible motorcycle accident a few years ago. He regaled me with stories of his pitching glory before the accident. I encouraged him that he could still be a manager, and I think that lifted his spirits.
Anyway, we talked for awhile, and then we left. I actually had a lot of fun at El Flotante, even though I didn't partake in the local pussy. We might go back on Friday for a big party there.
Today I had a tough practice. I started off with zero control...just throwing ball after ball. I adjusted my initial focus, however, and I started to gain control. I forced myself to throw a simulated game, which is really good for training.
Anyways, now I'm working...and betting. I've decided to post my daily baseball bets on my blog. Not to brag, but I've made about 600 dollars on MLB betting since I arrived here.
Today's picks are:
CINCINNATI REDS over Houston Astros
COLORADO ROCKIES over Chicago Cubs
NEW YORK METS over Washington Nationals.
See ya'll tomorrow.
-Darius
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